Women in Uganda are more likely to experience domestic violence than men
A toxic marriage is a chronic condition characterized by ongoing unhealthy mental, physical, and emotional issues that are unresolved and fester into even bigger problems.
Physical abuse, substance abuse, adultery, desertion, or other major transgressions are obvious signs that a marriage is in trouble. But often, the signs are a lot more subtle than that. But they are still just as toxic.
A toxic marriage is a lot like being overdrawn on an emotional bank account. You’re in trouble. You may even be aware you’re in trouble. But you’re crippled by negative feelings or you feel smothered without any way to break the cycle you’re in. You have little energy to fight the good fight (either to repair or flee) and feeling heartbroken, sad and hopeless are common occurrences.
If you’re in a toxic marriage, there’s a good chance you already suspect it. Maybe it’s just a general uneasiness or perhaps there are concrete examples you can point to. It’s easy when a spouse’s actions are overt, but when they are more subtle, you need to dig a little deeper before deciding if you are indeed in a toxic marriage.
Keep in mind, that even though you might be in a toxic marriage, that does not necessarily mean your marriage is a lost cause. Many marriages have rough spots, and with enough time and effort, a toxic situation can be remedied.
Second, both you and your spouse need to make an honest commitment to saving your marriage. You both have to be willing to do the hard work of repairing your broken relationship. You can’t do it on your own, and you can’t commit halfway.
If you’re not willing to go all in, you might as well throw in the towel.
Marriage counseling is a good place to start. In fact, you can even try couples therapy online with sites like ReGain. Visit ReGain here to get started.
When discussing things with your spouse, don’t accept lip service. That’s a dead-bang loser and will only create a longer and more painful road to break up that probably needed to happen anyway.
There are some other signs to look for that will signal whether it’s time to call it quits or not:
- You don’t feel safe around your spouse anymore. This can be either a physical or emotional situation.
- Your spouse cheated. Once that seed of distrust has been planted, it will grow like a weed and never go away. It can be sexual, financial, or in other ways, too.
- You’ve lost that loving feeling. You’ll know when you’ve fallen out of love. And that’s probably a good clue that you need to fall out of your marriage.
- You can’t trust your spouse to have your back anymore.
- You look more forward to spending time apart instead of spending time together.
- You might deny it on the surface, but deep down you want to be single again.
- Although you may try, ultimately you can’t look past certain transgressions.
- Chronic substance abuse that one or both of you can’t kick.
- People change over time, and when the changes pull you apart, it may mean the relationship has simply run its course.
- Your partner has become a narcissist. This can be a particularly ugly situation.